So. Last night marked the first date with Tamoxifen. After this lates recoccurence, I did some souls searching. It looked like this:: Maybe the doctor's aren't so evil and all the success they have had with this disease was not made up and I would be wise to listen to them, because there is a lump sitting in my breast and I tried the other way and it seems like nothing really happened. Well, I shouldn't say nothing, because my bloodwork is fantastico. And THAT is not nothing.
So I got the prescription and now have an orange and white bottle sitting in with all my other supplements. Last night I took one little white pill out and cradled it in my palm. Its so small and looks so harmless. In my imagination's eye I looked down into that pill and imagined all the molecules and chemistry and atoms and whatever it is that's in there all configured in just the right way to help me. I then took my breath and blew ever so gentley into the pill with my VERY BEST intentions and said thank you to the scientists who made it. Who cares how much money this drug is making, and all the politics around it, maybe this little pill deep in its heart wanted to help me. It was going in to do the job right. Prevent those cells from growing! Or give me ridiculous side effects which I regret for the rest of my life, never find a man or settle down, have zero retirement plan, and have such deep crow's feet in my 50's that I look like a witch and my only friends will be cats. Stray cats who meow alot. Named Raven.
So Miss Tamoxifen, and this pill is definitely a She with a name like Tamox--which rhymes with Mox as in Moxie, you are my hope for a successful and wonderful life. Show my your Moxie, do your thing to bind to the cells before the estrogen can and stop these silly Cancer cells from growing. Send them to Cancer heaven where they will have a better time anyway. Shrink my little 1.7cm tumor down to nothing so that when they do go in there to clean it out, there will be NOTHING there.
Thanks Tamoxifen.
Oh yeah and don't give me hot flashes or any of that big ugly list they handed to me....
So I got the prescription and now have an orange and white bottle sitting in with all my other supplements. Last night I took one little white pill out and cradled it in my palm. Its so small and looks so harmless. In my imagination's eye I looked down into that pill and imagined all the molecules and chemistry and atoms and whatever it is that's in there all configured in just the right way to help me. I then took my breath and blew ever so gentley into the pill with my VERY BEST intentions and said thank you to the scientists who made it. Who cares how much money this drug is making, and all the politics around it, maybe this little pill deep in its heart wanted to help me. It was going in to do the job right. Prevent those cells from growing! Or give me ridiculous side effects which I regret for the rest of my life, never find a man or settle down, have zero retirement plan, and have such deep crow's feet in my 50's that I look like a witch and my only friends will be cats. Stray cats who meow alot. Named Raven.
So Miss Tamoxifen, and this pill is definitely a She with a name like Tamox--which rhymes with Mox as in Moxie, you are my hope for a successful and wonderful life. Show my your Moxie, do your thing to bind to the cells before the estrogen can and stop these silly Cancer cells from growing. Send them to Cancer heaven where they will have a better time anyway. Shrink my little 1.7cm tumor down to nothing so that when they do go in there to clean it out, there will be NOTHING there.
Thanks Tamoxifen.
Oh yeah and don't give me hot flashes or any of that big ugly list they handed to me....
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